This section lists stuff that aren't necessarily one-of-a-kind artifacts. Still great stuff that you can't get anywhere else, so great that this stuff needs its own section!
In keeping with money-making techniques of pretty much every church, school and organization, I'm holding a bake sale.
I made cookies. Good ones. Sugar cookies with icing. They're delicious. Here's me enjoying one:
Now you can enjoy them too! Here's how:
TWO DELICIOUS MY MILLION DOLLAR YEAR COOKIES!
Get a pair of delcious cookies hand-baked by yours truly! Sugar cookies wih smooth icing and candy sprinkles.
Two for $12! Includes shipping!
MY MILLION DOLLAR YEAR SNACK FOR ONE!
Get a pair of delicious cookies and a bottle of Jones Soda, a complete My Million Dollar snack of your very own. Specify Jones Soda Flavour: Orange Cream Soda, Lemon Lime, or Organics Peach and Red Tea.
Two cookies and a drink for $20! Includes shipping!
MY MILLION DOLLAR YEAR SNACK FOR TWO!
Get two pairs of delicious My Million Dollar Year cookies and two bottles of Jones Soda, a complete My Million Dollar snack of you and a lucky friend. Specify Jones Soda flavour: Orange Cream Soda, Lemon Lime, or Organics Peach and Red Tea.
Four cookies and two drinks for $35! Includes shipping!
From my experience with this project, people really want to talk to me, either to tell me how much I suck, ask me if I know I suck this much, or to tell me I'm their hero. I've often wondered what they would do if they could have a way to talk to me personally. My guess: Take me up on it!
For $50 CDN, I'll call you, at my expense, no matter where you live. (Please note, however, that I only speak English and the pathetic French most kids in Canada learn, which basically consists of words you find on the back of cereal boxes). You'll have three minutes to say whatever you want, ask me questions, tell me off, confess something, get advice, hurl abuse, whatever. If you'd like more than three minutes, please purchse multiple calls. When purchasing, please include your name and phone number (with area code, and country code if you're outside North America), and the time and date you'd like to be called. Date chosen must be within one week of purchase, between 12pm and 8pm EST.
Talk To Astrid!
$50 CDN per three minutes
Except for the samples in the Mailbag section - which, believe me, is just the tip of the big brown hate mail iceberg - you're not going to read the hatemail anywhere. Believe me, a lot of it is pretty funny, each for its own unique reason. Some have hilarious spelling and grammar, some are evidence that humans inherently have no sense of humour, and a lot of it is some of the most vitriolic stuff you'll ever read. Now you can have some of your very own!
For the low low price of $25 CDN, I'll hand-select a good one, print it (sans email address - lawyers, yikes - but I promise I'll make a funny fake one) and lovingly hand-place it in an envelope and send it straight to you. Shipping is included, to anywhere on the planet!
My Million Dollar Hatemail
$25 CDN
Some other stuff: